Hollywood Blog

Liars, Cheats and Lawyers — Hollywood Blog Blather, May 5, 2010

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Charlie Sheen might be having marital problems yet again — this time with Brooke Mueller — that now cost him $125K/month, but there are some celeb couples in the “let’s neck in public” phase. One such couple is Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron. TMZ has pics and video of them smooching. I  believe the next phase of a celeb relationship is “look, you attracted the paparazzi yet again.” Good luck to the newly in love couple and lets hope that Theron doesn’t let out her Monster side on Keanu.

Speaking of breakups, Michelle McGee, who got between Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, is being defended by celebrity tat artist Kat Von D. Kat says that you can’t judge a book by its cover, and that we shouldn’t judge McGee by the fact that she has tattoos. True that, Kat. Let’s judge McGee on the fact that she destroyed a relationship. Then again, bad boy Jesse James was busy with more than one mistress anyway. While Sandra Bullock is happy enough in her life, what with her adoption of a baby boy, she’s still pulling in some top legal defense for her divorce case.

Not sure who’s in Brett Michael’s scope at the moment because I couldn’t be bothered to watch his Rock of Love reality dating show, but he’s at least making progress after a brain hemorrhage. Word is that he’s walking again and has even been released from hospital. Donald Trump, producer of the “Celebrity Apprentice” TV show Bret was in before the emergency hospitalization is said to be praying for him. I believe the prayer goes something like this: “Lord, please let Bret Michaels recover so he can return to the show so that I don’t lose lots of green green cash. Amen.”

I don’t know whether to laugh hysterically or cry that scary-eyed former First Lady Laura Bush has Bob Marley on her iPod, according to daughter Jenna Bush. Maybe she’s trying to learn how to repent for killing a friend in a car accident years ago by learning to be irie.

Originally posted on May 5, 2010 @ 8:59 pm

Hollywood Blah Blah, May 29, 2010

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Sandra Bullock’s not letting her breakup with Jesse James Douchebag get in the way of her relationship with his three children. The Star says she managed to have a girl’s day out at The Beverly Hills Hotel with Jesse’s youngest girl, Sunny. Kind of tells a lot, doesn’t it? Jesse has said he wants to see the baby boy they adopted together, Louis Bardo, and Sandra will see Jesse’s other two kids, Jesse Jr. and Chandler. Oh and Jesse, just another reminder, above, of what you’re going to miss out on.

Charlie Sheen is possibly pleading guilty as part of a plea bargain in a domestic case, which stems from his being arrested for assaulting wife Brooke Mueller in Aspen. If he does plead guilty, he’ll spend up to 45 days in jail. The current charge is “felony menacing,” which carries a bigger penalty that might interfere with his $2 trillion dollars per episode day job as Charlie Harper in Two and a Half Men. For the record, good ol’ Charlie says he’s innocent. Sheen currently pays out over $125K/month to ex-wife Denise Richards and current wife Mueller.

So Alicia Keys is not only pregnant but engaged to rapper Swizz Beatz, aka Kasseem Dean. If you’re not sure who he is, according to People, he’s produced music for his fiancee — and inspired her — and worked with Jay-Z, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez and Gwen Stefani. This player already has two kids from previous relationships. As in plural. So at this point I guess he’s heading towards having three baby mommas. But Alicia is looking forward to the experience of being a mother.

Wow Glen Beck, aren’t you so effing brave and clever, putting down a little girl on your stupid show? Seriously, you’re such a hater that you have to mock Malia Obama? What the eff did she ever do to you, moron? You want your family left alone but you pick on little girls? Do you feel all smart and powerful now? Were you dropped on your head a few too many times as a child?

Originally posted on May 29, 2010 @ 8:51 pm

Smarties, Hosts, and Fools – Hollywood Blah Blah, May 13, 2010

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Danica McKellar, aka Winnie Cooper, on intelligence: If a guy is skilled at anything, that’s attractive. Too bad she’s taken, and is even pregnant. Other hot mamas to be: Gwen Stefani, but for the third time.

Michelle McGee on cheating: you need to know that men are not meant to be with one woman. McGee is the tat ink model who had an affair with Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James. Yeah, it might be biologically true, but some men can control themselves. Unfortunately, some women cannot.

Thomas Jane on the size of his male member: “average”. Well that’s honesty for you.

Paris Hilton on junk food: I’m not eating fast food anymore. Wow, I find it hard to believe she eats anything. Her ribs are sticking out half the time. Somebody give this girl a sandwich.

Elton John on the $33M offer to replace Simon Cowell on American Idol: no. By the way, it seems that TMZ has a fair bit of money to throw around. The 1st and 2nd place winners get a substantional amount of money for their 1st through 6th albums. Even the 3rd through 12th place winners get $100-200K apiece for their first album, if they get signed. (They just can’t have sex with the judges for up to six months after the season ends.) No wonder so many talentless hopefuls are willing to embarrass themselves.

Bravo to new Christina Aguilera, who is the new WFP (World Food Programme) Ambassador Against Hunger. First stop is Haiti.

Originally posted on May 13, 2010 @ 8:50 pm